Cafea fără gust de fericire!

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Momente nu neapărat cu caracter pesimist, mai degrabă unul realist chiar, dar vin așa momente când fiecare pentru sine își trage careva concluzii fără prea multe figuri de stil, așa mai simple cu nuanță de ” – hmm, cred că e timpul să schimbăm ceva!”. Chiar și plăcerile devin plictisitoare când se transformă în obișnuințe, rutină de zi cu zi.

Eu ultimul timp nu prea pot scrie siropos, dar încerc totuși să o fac, fără prea multă inspirație, dar o fac cu drag pentru mine. Știți acele senzații de forma ” – fac ceva nu cum trebuie, dar habar n-am ce anume!”. Ajungi la etapa când începi să te urăști pe tine însăți sau însuți, chiar nu mai caut varianta corectă, nu e un articol de ziar sau post pe pagini oficiale.

Ideea nici nu constă în faptul că totul are să meargă bine, mereu cineva îți va insufla că ești nu cum trebuie și acest lucru chiar contează mai puțin, credeți-mă. Nu seamănă a depresie, căci nu mă simt prost sau deprimat cu gânduri din alea că sunt singur, că nimeni nu mă iubește, pentru că nu e așa. De fapt e o stare de goliciune, o stare care dacă nu este trecută cu brio la timpul potrivit se transformă în indiferență.

Știți acel moment când privești în gol și gândurile deja aterizează la aeroportul „eu nu știu ce caut aici și care e sensul?!!!”, păi senzații din alea. Lucrurile ele au un caracter de consecutivitate și au o legătură logică între ele, trebuie doar să nu te lași dus fără luptă de frecvențele lor. Imaginația de fapt nu se supune unor reguli și limite atâta timp cât e vie, dar pare-mi-se ea vrea ori inspirație, ori un obelisc cât mai frumos la cimitir, alături de visele care deja își odihnesc în pace nerealizările.

Gânduri, doar gânduri și ele au esență de a se epuiza sau a se combina între ele formând un amestec urât și neînțeles. În asemenea momente nici cărțile și nici cafeaua nu te mai ajută, și atâtea lucruri scrise în acel jurnal care așteaptă implicarea unui redactor și lumina de la tipar, dar toate la timpul lor. Important e că eu te-am creat după asemănarea mea și nu e expus faptul că vei muri în acel jurnal odată cu ultima picătură de viață a visului de a deveni împlinit, dar vei muri mult mai devreme.

Pentru că trebuia să mai pun puncte, dar de fapt e o continuare nesetoasă și nesănătoasă despre ideea cu momentele. Am un bagaj pe care cu timpul e tot mai mare și tot mai inutil și pe care devine tot mai des un pripon decât un accelerator de auto-realizare. Păi cer scuze dacă ai citit până aici, dar cum spuneam și în micile articole anterioare, e pentru mine acest text și mai puțin pentru voi.

Le distribuim pe rețele de socializare pentru că așa e moda și deprinderea proastă de care am fost capturat și eu. Gânduri, dar să nu crezi că citindu-le aici, mă vei cunoaște. Cu toate că ultimul timp ne cam transformăm toți în ceva tipic și cu șablon, urmând etaloane de „succes”, dar totuși avem noi acea lume lăuntrică care e ascunsă până și de proprii ochi.

Acum e timpul să începem povestea cu un alt scop. E timpul ca să devenim împliniți, nu mai vorbesc de fericire pentru că este ceva foarte abstract. Vă doresc să deveniți împliniți. Eu azi mă opresc aici, dar promit că voi continua. Acum după ce ai citit un pic de „apâșoară” fugi de citește altceva, și tinde spre propriul tău mod de a fi și a trăi. Eu te-am cuprins și scuze pentru toate. 

Sursă

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